2.14.08

9:27am
Realization of the Day :: I like my coffee with 2 and a half sugars.

10:32am
2nd Realization of the Day :: I want to have what they have...



I often believe that Chipper, my bosses partner sometimes, hates me.
I won't delve into the dirty details. They are seemingly futile.

Today. Being the most popular hallmark-fabricated-holiday, he handed me a box of chocolates and wished me a happy valentines day. I assume he only really caters/likes/deals with me on holidays. Which i'm fine with... chocolates... christmas bonuses... whole foods gift cards... all good in my book.

chocolate:

So amazing, right? Oh, it's not over.
I open up the box to find the chocolate is surrounded by
small balls of chocolate. OH THE GLORY!

Spectacular chain of events!

updates later i'm sure.

FedMess

I just can't win with package delivery companies.

FedMess lies. A lot.
The big-guy expects that I had a handle on everything a month into working, while moving.
I did what I could.
Sorry that I didn't draw the line and walk it for you.

[sigh]

I hate this shit.

Moderate moderations

“I heard 'Hard Rain' and wept” - allen ginsberg






My body sores me.

scours like:

"This ain't a tissue in a paper mill, hon. We got shit to do."

and if it weren't for rock music
I'd never put my shoes on.

we're of that
barefoot-don't-give-me-shit
Generation.

nowhere near richer
but
when the snow settles
we'll have mountains
leading mountains

and i could talk about the city as though she were bleeding
or crying
or living


it's all inclement.

ikea killa, killa

ikea

{click on the picture to view the whole gallery}

ikea has 2,000 new items so there were about 800 million people there, with measuring tapes and screaming children. everything is so nouveau riche, "modern" (if modern now means short tables, wavy mirrors and beds with few details, lines, or contours). i don't mean to hate on ikea, we all have a special place for that wonderful 'cheap' european furniture, with funny names like KLUBBOU. and you spend half the trip trying to prounce them with your best Swedish accent only then realizing that, you don't know how to do a Swedish accent. sigh. how do we proceed?

Also, there is nothing like winding up in a section where you can sit, on everything! chairs, cushions, chaises, sofas, beds, weird hanging things from the ceiling, ottomans, etc. oh! you could take a nap, if you didn't feel as though you were in a warehouse, and the fact that there's a line of 12 other people waiting to pseudo-nap in your chair too.

For having 2,000 new items, the store only seemed more hectic and maze-y not filled with Swedish goodness. The ikea i attend, has TWO eateries now, the more meatballs, the merrier. that's what i always say.. I have always been somewhat and slightly opposed to food in department-like stores. moreso with clothing stores, because i'm clumsy and spill stuff, but chatch-ki stores too worry me. maybe just swedish meatballs worry me.

mom commands the floor while, dad and i stare at one another mouthing "there's too many fucking people in here."

while home, I acquired:

• 4 new pez
• hole-in-my-heart
• winter vest
• valentines candy (unopened, mom)
• ikea rug
• curtains
• door curtains
• 2 packs of cigarettes
• 10 new pairs of socks

in transit.

just got back from the airport

[sigh]

we're both, reeling.


again.









Floyd and I had a photo-shoot.
Senor loves the car, especially lying flat
across the driver's back and shoulders. occasionally sneezing down their neck. while nuzzling, at the same time.

providing just enough cute and gross for the fill.





[It is strange, in this moment.]

while you are away/my heart comes undone/slowly unravels/in a ball of yarn
the devil collects it/with a grin/our love/in a ball of yarn

Look Mom! I Did This!

I've been working on this bag for WEEKS, finally, with enough gusto I was able to finish it this morning on the subway ride into work.






I must say that i am pretty flipping proud. If it didn't take me so long and didn't result in painful wrist/hand action, I'd make millions.




I went to college and learned loads of things. I excelled in circus skills.

happiness is a warm... gun?

last night i heard a man get shot 100 feet away from my bedroom window. this was a poem I wrote after watching a man get mugged across the street from my apartment building a few months ago.

A, traffic jam
A, man mugged
outside my window
while we watched
and proclaimed

THIS never happens here.

I wanted palms & passport stamps.

This place was for us and now
I am left here
grassless;

planting spider plants in old coke bottles
locking, both, locks.

i miss feeling humbled.

[sigh]

some would call this, a nerd moment:

Me: did you see my story in my blog
Them: which one?
Me: the moose story
Them: is that its title?
Me: no i just refer to it as 'the moose.'
Them: oh, i thought you changed the title
Me: hahahaha well no, because i'm not Elizabeth Bishop.



hahahahahhahaa. oh. man. it's true.

someone for everyone.

I love fark.com --- intensely love/cherish/rely on it. If fark weren't around, I might have drowned by this point.

Today fark gave me gold.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4244025&page=1

It's an article about a 2ft 9in woman falling in love and making a baby with a 6ft 4in dude. Of course this piqued my interest immediately because a) I heart midgets and b) I get new material.

I sent this to Moonslice - both at our respective work places so we could meander over, what else, how they.... do it....




Moonslice: how does he get it all the way in?

me: tips it

Moonslice: what?!

me: puts the tip in!

Moonslice: he's like "sometimes i throw her through a hoop like a basketball and catch her with my dick!"

me: then spin her around like a pinwheel!

Moonslice: while she blows bubbles

and he makes balloon animals for the kids!

me: and then they jump through a flaming hoop

and then amazingly.... wait for it....

she balances him in her vagina, while she walks on her hands

and they're called .... THE ARISTOCRATS!

Moonslice: hahahahahahaahahha, nice.




now... back to work. saving the world. as usual.